I DONT WANNA LIVE IN THIS DAMN WORLD ANYMORE... PLEASE WHO CAN SAVE ME FROM ALL THIS SHIT... WHO CAN MAKE MY LIFE BETTER...

i wanted you

Lately I've been thinking 'bout wat i can do
I've been stressing to fall back in love with you
I'm so sorry that I couldn't follow through
But I can't go on this way
I've got to stop it babe
You've been wonderful in all that you can be
But it hurts when you say that you understand me
So believe me I, I am sorry I.. I am sorry I, I

I wanted you to be there when I fall
I wanted you to see me through it all
I wanted you to be the one I love
I wanted you, I wanted you
I wanted you to hold me in my sleep
I wanted you to show me what I need
I wanted you to know just how down deep
I wanted you, I wanted you

I've been pushing hard to open up the door
Trying to take us back to where we were before
But I'm done I just can't do this anymore
Cause we can't be mended
So let's stop pretending now
We've been walking round in circles for some time
And I think we should head for the finish line
So believe me I, I am sorry I.. I am sorry I, I

I, I I'm so sorry baby but
I, I I've got to pack up and leave but
I, I'll always remember how we came close to be
And what I wanted to be
I wanted you baby
Oooooh Yeahh
I wanted you
I wanted, I wanted you

happy birthday darryl...

TIME : 14.47

DATE : 26 OCT (eve of my birthday)

goodbye...

the walls are closing in on me... i say goodbye this is the last time the time's juz gonna move on its ur turn to cry... as much as i hate to say it, i have to. i'm being driven into the corner.

even the best fall.

2day is the 1st day without you... it feels really wierd. as if there's i big part of my life lost. many memories good and bad have been created when we were frens. and these memories wil accompany me for the rest of my life. as i reminder of how childish and irritating i am... all good things come to an end. and maybe it end here. still remember how we met? it was months ago... we met be a wierd way as many ppl would think. but you noe it i dun nid to say it here. den we became frens. super good fren as you call it. best fren as i do. i've always regarded you as my good fren no matter how you treated me. whenever you were down i tried to make you smile but, failing attempts after attempts. i would be the 1 listening to your scoldings always. i didnt mind... really. but nvr haf i ever scolded you be4 or yes i did but not as many times as you scolded me. but i didnt care. in chinese,'scold is love beat is teng?' i dunno how to explain it... but you should noe... you always asked me 'do you regret knowing me?' always my answer would be the same old flat no. w/o a second thought. i shld haf known tat you wanted me out of your life. too bad i didnt. i only fell deeper and deeper into this maze. sliding furthur down. thinking tat somewhere below, you would catch me and kick my butt (as you always lyk to do) and send me flying up again. but when i now reach the bottom, i realise that you werent there. and i fell down hard. hitting my head and knocking the senses out of me. i sat there and w8ed thinking that maybe you would send a rope down or something. wrong again. i w8ed and w8ed until finally, i gave up. i broke down. i cried. for the entire nite i couldnt sleep. i kept thinking: 'maybe its really my fault or maybe not. but i dun care. wad matters most is tat now, you have left me. tats wad's hurting me...' i sit down silently on my bed hugging me pillow and reflecting on the happy and sad times we shared... the scolding from jie jie when i kept it from her tat you were sick. and the happy times when i made stupid jokes and laffed non stop. and rmb the time mr yong gave you some stupid book. tat look on ur face was really hilarious. but now, its all gone. knocked out of my head when it hit the floor. everything's gone and i haf to start from nothing. all over again...  what you said last nite really hurt me...you haf nvr used such harsh on vulgar words on me be4... wad's happening to me? can some1 tel me please?

thank you ppl you tried to cheer me up. i noe i'm always laffing. sorry 2day i didnt...

What Hurts The Most- Rascal Flatts

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house

That don't bother me

I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out

I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while

Even though going on with you gone still upsets me

There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok

But that's not what gets me

What hurts the most

Was being so close

And having so much to say

And watching you walk away

And never knowing

What could have been

And not seeing that loving you

Is what I was tryin' to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go

But I'm doin' It

It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone

Still Harder

Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret

But I know if I could do it over

I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart

That I left unspoken

What hurts the most

Is being so close

And having so much to say

And watching you walk away

And never knowing

What could have been

And not seeing that loving you

Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most

Is being so close

And having so much to say

And watching you walk away

And never knowing

What could have been

And not seeing that loving you

Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you

That's what I was trying to do

Ooohhh....

get lost...

i dun even noe wth i did wrong and you ask me to go away. get lost to be exact. wad you mean by this? you juz said 'if you talk to me just to be like that then get lost.' wad i said? wad do you mean by lyk tat? you dun even say anything den you ask me to get lost. fine i get lost den aft wad you say? 'you nvr do anything wrong, dun have to say sorry' and so i dun. den? 'dun tok to me now... just leave me alone for a while please' wth did i even say?! wad did i tel you? i didnt even talk to you ok. wad you mean by this man... i dun wish to talk to any1 now... not tat i'm angry or anything... maybe i juz nid sometime to reflect on wad i did wrong...

fone lost = life lost

current mood: sad):

too bad you lost ur fone): now i cant ever sms you till nxt year )': its not even 3 days and i'm oredy 3/4 dead): i wonder how i'm ever gonna make it past the mnths mark... and its only 11 more days to my birthday now you wont ever going to be able to wish me happy birthday this year): you promised me to buy me something you promised! why you break ur promise... you nvr break ur promises to me be4...)':

i hate the person who stole ur fone): i really really hate them how i wish i can hack them into into a million pieces and feed them to the dogs... useless ppl man... even if wan steal oso steal other ppl fone rite?! y pian pian muz be hers?! asshole...