I DONT WANNA LIVE IN THIS DAMN WORLD ANYMORE... PLEASE WHO CAN SAVE ME FROM ALL THIS SHIT... WHO CAN MAKE MY LIFE BETTER...

i wanted you

Lately I've been thinking 'bout wat i can do
I've been stressing to fall back in love with you
I'm so sorry that I couldn't follow through
But I can't go on this way
I've got to stop it babe
You've been wonderful in all that you can be
But it hurts when you say that you understand me
So believe me I, I am sorry I.. I am sorry I, I

I wanted you to be there when I fall
I wanted you to see me through it all
I wanted you to be the one I love
I wanted you, I wanted you
I wanted you to hold me in my sleep
I wanted you to show me what I need
I wanted you to know just how down deep
I wanted you, I wanted you

I've been pushing hard to open up the door
Trying to take us back to where we were before
But I'm done I just can't do this anymore
Cause we can't be mended
So let's stop pretending now
We've been walking round in circles for some time
And I think we should head for the finish line
So believe me I, I am sorry I.. I am sorry I, I

I, I I'm so sorry baby but
I, I I've got to pack up and leave but
I, I'll always remember how we came close to be
And what I wanted to be
I wanted you baby
Oooooh Yeahh
I wanted you
I wanted, I wanted you

happy birthday darryl...

TIME : 14.47

DATE : 26 OCT (eve of my birthday)

goodbye...

the walls are closing in on me... i say goodbye this is the last time the time's juz gonna move on its ur turn to cry... as much as i hate to say it, i have to. i'm being driven into the corner.

even the best fall.

2day is the 1st day without you... it feels really wierd. as if there's i big part of my life lost. many memories good and bad have been created when we were frens. and these memories wil accompany me for the rest of my life. as i reminder of how childish and irritating i am... all good things come to an end. and maybe it end here. still remember how we met? it was months ago... we met be a wierd way as many ppl would think. but you noe it i dun nid to say it here. den we became frens. super good fren as you call it. best fren as i do. i've always regarded you as my good fren no matter how you treated me. whenever you were down i tried to make you smile but, failing attempts after attempts. i would be the 1 listening to your scoldings always. i didnt mind... really. but nvr haf i ever scolded you be4 or yes i did but not as many times as you scolded me. but i didnt care. in chinese,'scold is love beat is teng?' i dunno how to explain it... but you should noe... you always asked me 'do you regret knowing me?' always my answer would be the same old flat no. w/o a second thought. i shld haf known tat you wanted me out of your life. too bad i didnt. i only fell deeper and deeper into this maze. sliding furthur down. thinking tat somewhere below, you would catch me and kick my butt (as you always lyk to do) and send me flying up again. but when i now reach the bottom, i realise that you werent there. and i fell down hard. hitting my head and knocking the senses out of me. i sat there and w8ed thinking that maybe you would send a rope down or something. wrong again. i w8ed and w8ed until finally, i gave up. i broke down. i cried. for the entire nite i couldnt sleep. i kept thinking: 'maybe its really my fault or maybe not. but i dun care. wad matters most is tat now, you have left me. tats wad's hurting me...' i sit down silently on my bed hugging me pillow and reflecting on the happy and sad times we shared... the scolding from jie jie when i kept it from her tat you were sick. and the happy times when i made stupid jokes and laffed non stop. and rmb the time mr yong gave you some stupid book. tat look on ur face was really hilarious. but now, its all gone. knocked out of my head when it hit the floor. everything's gone and i haf to start from nothing. all over again...  what you said last nite really hurt me...you haf nvr used such harsh on vulgar words on me be4... wad's happening to me? can some1 tel me please?

thank you ppl you tried to cheer me up. i noe i'm always laffing. sorry 2day i didnt...

What Hurts The Most- Rascal Flatts

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house

That don't bother me

I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out

I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while

Even though going on with you gone still upsets me

There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok

But that's not what gets me

What hurts the most

Was being so close

And having so much to say

And watching you walk away

And never knowing

What could have been

And not seeing that loving you

Is what I was tryin' to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go

But I'm doin' It

It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone

Still Harder

Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret

But I know if I could do it over

I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart

That I left unspoken

What hurts the most

Is being so close

And having so much to say

And watching you walk away

And never knowing

What could have been

And not seeing that loving you

Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most

Is being so close

And having so much to say

And watching you walk away

And never knowing

What could have been

And not seeing that loving you

Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you

That's what I was trying to do

Ooohhh....

get lost...

i dun even noe wth i did wrong and you ask me to go away. get lost to be exact. wad you mean by this? you juz said 'if you talk to me just to be like that then get lost.' wad i said? wad do you mean by lyk tat? you dun even say anything den you ask me to get lost. fine i get lost den aft wad you say? 'you nvr do anything wrong, dun have to say sorry' and so i dun. den? 'dun tok to me now... just leave me alone for a while please' wth did i even say?! wad did i tel you? i didnt even talk to you ok. wad you mean by this man... i dun wish to talk to any1 now... not tat i'm angry or anything... maybe i juz nid sometime to reflect on wad i did wrong...

fone lost = life lost

current mood: sad):

too bad you lost ur fone): now i cant ever sms you till nxt year )': its not even 3 days and i'm oredy 3/4 dead): i wonder how i'm ever gonna make it past the mnths mark... and its only 11 more days to my birthday now you wont ever going to be able to wish me happy birthday this year): you promised me to buy me something you promised! why you break ur promise... you nvr break ur promises to me be4...)':

i hate the person who stole ur fone): i really really hate them how i wish i can hack them into into a million pieces and feed them to the dogs... useless ppl man... even if wan steal oso steal other ppl fone rite?! y pian pian muz be hers?! asshole...

hurt=X

Current mood: hurt=X

what's happening to this world? why muz every1 make me feel sad for the simplest things i do? always i 4giv you guys but nvr do you 4giv me. you keep them al inside you and build up your hatred against me... you guys can laugh... but how many of you noe? how namy of you understand the feeling of this sadness? who noes how i shed silent tears everynite? gaga lah you guys...

leave me alone...

how i wish i can celebrate my birthday as happily as the rest... but too bad everytime i think of the day i'm  born, sad memories float bac into this stupid mind of mine... when ppl are celebrating their bdae so happily i'm here suffering in silence... who knows? i bet you dont... so somtimes, dun even bother asking me wad happened cos you wont even care... even aft wad i had told you ytd you seem not to care... it really hurts meD:

happy birthday gal!

happy birthday jiahang(: see i kept my promise rite!

i know that this many people may not know... but jiahang you know wad's happening now... but nvm... i noe u dun giv a shit abt wad i feel... its my fault tat  i made u angry on ur bday i'm sorry...

i wanted to post somethng nice 2day... but suddenly somethng told me not to... haiis...wtf is happening to my life man... you left me hints which i thought u meant... den suddenly you tel me u juz accepted a new noy 2day... fuck man... what did i do wrong in my past life... who did i insult to deserve this... gahh... IDK IDK IDK!!!!!!!!! i juz know you will always be my one and only...

for the special you...

this song's for you if you even bother to read my blog... you know who you are...

right here waiting...

i was juz randomly searching youtube for my fav songs when i randomly clicked this clip the voice's nice:))

right here waiting-richard marx

backstabbers?

wat did i do wrong man... wad did i owe you in my past life? why do you keep putting me down juz when i'm in my highest spirits? suddenly you ask me whether issit i hat you... wat the heck is this man. you can call me a friend den u say this type of shit stuff. when i ask u who told u say u promised that person not to say his or her name. k fine den i ask rachel she said yes. den i told her i said tat out of anger den jiu ok le. i tot settle oredy den nxt morning wtf u tell me? its not her its someone else den i ask u again who is tat someone else u say u got tuition until at nite. wad the fuck is this man... and to the bloody backstabber. maybe u should go bang ur head against the wall yeah? oh and if u got the guts to tel jiahang tat dun tel me u got no guts to own up? stupid uncivilised orphan dog!

how i wish...

juz when some else has found the person he has been looking for, u had to go...

thanks marilyn:))

sorry ppl these few days was moving hse so didnt haf time to come online den when i had time the new hse dun haf internet-.- basket rite? ok nvm... anyways juz wanted to say THANK YOU MARILYN LOW:)) she's the nicest jie lah she was oredy late for tuition den when she noe i crying she stil go staircase to sit wif me until i stop crying:)) so nice... den my new hse oso very nice lah and windy YAY!! haha at least not so hot lyk my old hse... and i luv my new room too so nice and cooling hahas... okaes i think tats all for 2day cos i stil nid to do some stupid cigarettes research and nid 3 min long presentation on thurs wtf...

PS:i lyk you. but you juz dont noe it... and the fact tat u dunno juz hurts me more. i noe its not becos u want to hurt me by saying those things bout the boy u lyk. its juz becos u dun even noe tat i lyk u in the first place... and when i went to ur new blog the 1st post i read made me break down, again... i cant blame you or any1 cos its not ur fault at al... but its ok. as long as u are happy wif the guy u lyk, i cant do muzh either. gd luck and al the best for ur relationship wif him:))

omg... this blog's so dead can nvm i'll post some stuff now:D

friday,july 18
went to coral pri and they had this p1+p2 concert den they lyk super cute can!! let the pics do the talking bahhs:P

















the rest of the days nothing le=X

PS: jie jie u noe who u are lah but i juz wan say thank u for everything tat u haf done for me but sorry i'm really starting to hate u le... i dunno why too=X SORRY

pizzas!!

juz rmb tat i was told ytd got prize for coming in 4th in east zone lol! so happy can:D den sumore our superduperultra gd ms raksha wil buy us 6 pizzas!! SIX eh lol:D gratz to vsarc ppl:)) work harder nxt yr k? hahas now nid go clean the new hse le... whole family w8ing for me hahas wil post pics 2morow if can bahhs:D bye!!

loves,darryl:))

those are the stuff i ate!! :D nice seyy!! esp the chicken drumstick lah lyk bigger den my palm lor:D so nice summore hahas and yeah quite a gd day 2day except tat some stupid ppl go hide shoeD: hahas den summore tong jie jie got new south wales lor hope she can get at least credit jyjy jie jie!! hahas and to all the ppl who haf them too :)) bye gotta revise for geog cos cher say nid to hahas see i so guai rite summore got some ppl say i so pai!!:P

nice day?

2day had some stupid malay class lah damn bloody stupid can pure waste of time!! but al least ms nina helped me lor:D den aft class played soccer for lyk half hour den sweat lyk shit liddat... eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! lols den aft tat come bac den say hi to iris jie jie den she scolded me lorD: budden aft i say sorry lyk 10000 times le den she not angry anymore le:D hahas at least mah:D tats al ppl stil got tons of work to do so bye!!:D

bac again:))

hey ppl sorry wor last few days had no time to post... and me and jie jies al ok le and thanks to al those ppl who comforted me when i needed it:D chantelle,melissa mei,joanne,cheryl jie and if i didnt mention sorry hor=X and hor 2day go tuition bla bla lah den oon jie come nvr even say hello den go wif tat other jie le lor!!!!!! grrrrr i bite her head off the nxt time i see her:P and 2day had to take some pics for the tuition centre lah so the 1st pic was lyk come ready smile 1, 2, 3... snap! quite ok den aft tat she said wanted to take candid lah den i and the other jie laff non stop can den aft tat she say come ppl lets take a candid shot!! come on candid pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease den we al oso lyk same as 1st shot can lyk damn stupid la! hahas and from now the other jie jie name wil be tong jie jie and not some stupid name sorry tong jie jie!!

"jiahang: dun lidat leh. sorry lah"
nvm jie jie over jiu over le 4get it bahhs! :D

no faults for u ppl to take...

this morning oon jie jie said tat its al my fault... everything is my fault!!!!!!!!! even tat ex jie oso no fault at al! ya maybe its really al my fault... al of u al no fault only i haf lah... fine... nvm... al i take la, al i take... den reach skool den lyk i dunno y suddenly i cry... lyk cannot stop liddat... i cry until lyk assembly over den went bac class... i hope things wil end here... i hope... now i juz learnt tat every1 doesnt lyk me... even chow...





these are all accidents... not many actually happen...

i've got problems. al u ppl are interested wif is who is that other jie? den aft tok crap onli! who will listen to my problems? no1...

things are getting out of wad i can accept...

until now my ex jie stil doesnt wanna talk to me... and oon jie says anything i wanna ask muz go thru her 1st... my world's crashing down on me!

tears start streaming down...

last nite something happened... it made me cut myself nonstop. i haf this jie who go same tuition wif me de... den we lyk normal jie and di lah u noe... only think that i always sms her in skool cos she always complain tat no1 talk to her in skool... so we talk talk talk lor... den aft tuition ytd she ask me how come i so tiam den i say i quite emo... den she nvr say anything lor. den aft tat she sms me ask me whether can dun be my jie or not juz be my normal fren. i noe tat many things happened to her these few days so i unwillingly said ok lor... den at nite i talk to her a while den she lyk say i until damn bad liddat so i say i go talk to oon jie cos she nicer den aft tat she tells me 'sometimes there are thing that u shld noe but u dun.' so i asked her wad she meant den she didnt wan to say at 1st... she sms me talk a while den i said 'if u not gonna tel me wad the thing is den dun bother toking to me.' den she said 'den dun tok lor.' den u know i oredy emo den she stil say thing kinda stuff... so i said fine den nvr sms her for awhile. cos i go my room 1 corner and started cutting... den suddenly my fone ring again... we said some stuff den she finally realised tat i was really cutting... den to me oon jie is lyk the bestest jie in the world can... den suddenly my other ex jie told me 'she doesnt lyk u cos of ur temper.' u dunno how i felt man... i cut lyk siao liddat... den aft a while i and ex jie talk a while den i stop le... i stil dun believe oon jie actually dun lyk me! D:

jie jie: what you wan to say la. suan le suan le. everytime suan le
darryl :if u not gonna tel me wad the thing is den dun tok to me.
jie jie:k lor
darryl :************************************************
jie jie:wad did i do?
darryl :************************************************
jie jie:aiyo i muz haf done something rite.
darryl :************************************************
jie jie:orh if i really did something but u dun wan to say den sorry k?
darryl :i talk to my other jie better lor
jie jie:******? she understand everything la thats y she's nice(:
darryl :too bad she's sleeping now D:
jie jie:orh den tel her tomorow lor but sometimes you dun know things tat u shld noe...
darryl :wad thing?
jie jie:dun wan wil make u sadder go sleep la

Ps: al the stars are not vulgarities. is juz tat i take away those parts...

save the world!!

hey ppl i juz cleaned up my bloggie i noe its been dead for a long time so i'll save it now:)) hope 2day will be a happy day... juz bac from tuition:D bye!

Ps: i'm emo now so try not to make it worst k? tks :D